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New Life

Reintroducing myself into society after being in the bubble of treatment feels both liberating and intimidating. It's like stepping into a new world.Curious glances and well-intentioned questions can make social interactions uncomfortable.Cancer may have changed me, but it doesn't define me. Embracing my scars and new normal is a journey of self-acceptance, an yet so much more this road has been hard for me proud of what my body has overcome an continue to overcome its my scars are barely noticeable , just to think in a few months I'll have surgery again. 

Hearing the words " I dont want to be negative " after asking my oncologist if and when I can get deported lol.( removal of port) her saying that then saying " lets wait 18 months two years you never know reoccurrence ." That word is like a knife to the chest, no longer was I happy at that visit it was just last week. So am I really over this shit ? No I have this port an these expanders as a reminder of the battle I am still fighting . 

The pause in life during treatment may have consequences. Rebuilding professional and personal connections takes time and effort. I was recently asked if I have been out with friends an it was just uncomfortable for me to answer because well ya'll know I have none. So, the whole have you been out with friends question kind of bothers me it kind of really hurts me,  i didn't really answer correctly because technically I have been out with friends  I mean CANCER friends but still friends this new life has been crazy, I have connected with people I wouldn't even think twice to start a conversation with.

It's been a weird place , I have yet to return to work honestly I am taking my time, just being around "regular people" just feels uncomfortable.

Trying to be as creative as possible with my art work , that too been different cancer has changed my outlook on so many aspects of life. 

Surviving cancer reshapes one's aspirations. Redefining goals and finding purpose has become a crucial part of my journey.  

Surviving cancer is a significant accomplishment, but it doesn't come without emotional baggage. The lasting impact of the disease can be overwhelming and make the return to normal life feel nearly impossible. 

"Some days, I need reminders of how far I've come, not how far I have to go." 


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