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Losing My Breast to Cancer: The Physical, Mental, and Emotional Trauma

 Losing your breast is traumatic as fuck! by far an experience I would not wish on my worst enemy. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I knew I had to make a difficult decision. Losing my breasts was the only way to save my life. The surgery was excruciating. Even though I have made a full physical recovery, the experience has left me mentally and emotionally scarred. I miss my breasts, but I have no regrets. I want to share my experience to support others going through a similar struggle.

Its like I get they were trying to kill slowly , but imagine being 34 with no breast , I have little mountains , until I am done with treatment which is in January , so I won't get my second phase surgery until prolly February to think that I'll have these expanders for a year is crazy to me .  it is so uncomfortable when I get injections to expand the expanders it hurts so bad like nothing I ever experienced nothing helps with the pain.

not to mention how ugly my chest looks I cant but cry when I look down at chest I kept it covered for three weeks trying to avoid me looking at it. When I went to my first post op visit all the nurses was surrounding me telling how good my chest looked . One of them said to me have you looked at yourself she noticed I just looked straight ahead . I told her no an she gave me this look like a she feels bad for me look. Now two months out I can look at myself, I feel uncomfortable touching my chest idk why, I really cant believe this is my life sometimes. I cant believe this is something I have to go through just for me to feel whole again. As much as I do not regret my decision, I miss the physical and emotional comfort my breasts provided me.My scars serve as a constant reminder of the trauma I experienced. However, looking at them now also reminds me of how far I have come and how much stronger I am today.

before I made this decision I was just going to get a lumpectomy, but last minute I changed my mind idk why I just did. I like to say that I did it because , I didn't want a reoccurrence but you know even with a double mastectomy the cancer can always come back somewhere. Cancer patients are like dr's too lol we know so much from being in that chair for so long lol I just had to mention that. I was once a girl who loved looking in the mirror now I avoid them every chance I get. 

Various organizations offer support for breast cancer survivors, such as post-surgical bras, financial aid, and mental health counseling.

Resources for Support and Healing

Shades of Pink Foundation

Provides temporary financial assistance to breast cancer patients experiencing financial distress due to diagnosis and subsequent treatment.

Breast Cancer Resource Center

Offers a range of services for breast cancer patients, including peer support groups, counseling, and referrals to local resources.

Breast Cancer Now

Provides information and support to anyone affected by breast cancer. Their website offers factsheets, courses, and resources for coping with a breast cancer diagnosis.

The American Cancer Society

Comprehensive information about breast cancer diagnosis, treatment, and prevention. They also offer a 24/7 helpline and local patient resources.


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before cancer.....

Before my breast cancer diagnosis, I was incredibly shallow. I was obsessed with my appearance and always striving to live up to the model image I had created for myself. I even dreamed of posing for Playboy one day. But after a double mastectomy, I am now so self-conscious that I can hardly recognize myself. It took me almost a month to look down at my chest after the surgery. I cried and cried for hours in the bathroom, wondering how this could be happening to me. I had always been so confident in my body, and now I felt like a stranger in my own skin. As a mother, I struggled with how to teach my daughter to be confident when I was struggling so much myself. How could I tell her to love herself when I didn't even recognize myself anymore? I was grateful for my surgeon's skilled hands and for getting the cancer out, but I hated the results. When people say that a mastectomy is not a boob job, they are right. The scars and the fact that I will never have sensation again at 34

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